Don’t force anyone to be your perfect mate – Adofoli

Have you met someone with whom you were in love and wanted to marry, but you felt where they were in life now, is not where you want your spouse to be. Maybe he is not a university graduate but has great potentials. Then you advised them to go for further studies or take up some courses even when they were not willing to go, but they have refused.

Financing is not the problem, they just don’t see themselves doing what you want them to do and that has become your headache. You feel when you advise them or suggest something which will make life better for them and yourself, they think otherwise. Well the best you can do to such a person is to let them be. Let go of the relationship and save yourself the frustration. At the end of the message you will understand why you have to do that.

Are you with a man you are studying for marriage who opposes your going for further studies because he thinks that will make you higher than him; therefore he tries all means possible to stop you from going. Meanwhile you feel further studies will go a long way to help the two of you. Moreover you have no plans of leaving him for someone else but he is feeling insecure and making a mountain out of an ant hill. If after all your explanation he still doesn’t want you to pursue the studies, the best gift you can offer him and yourself is a break up. At the end of this message you will understand why you have to.

Is she against your church or religion, doesn’t want to attend the same church with you after marriage yet claims to be in love with you, and she is suggesting you either join her church or attend your individual churches after the marriage; and you are worried and trying everything to change her mind? The best solution is to let go of such relationship. At the end of the message you will understand why you have to.

Is he against your way of dressing or fashion and suggesting dresses or fashion which makes you feel uncomfortable but you don’t want it and always kick against? He sometimes buys such clothes for you but you don’t wear them and it is costing your relationship so much. I will suggest to you to let go. No matter how much you love him, if you can’t resolve that, there is no need to get married.

Sometimes we believe that once we are in love with someone or in a relationship with them, we feel we can change them to suit us, which is not true. If they want to change because they love you, that is possible but you changing them because you love them is impossible. You just can’t force someone you are in love with to accept or understand a view they are not ready to receive or accept. If they are not ready for the message, they won’t receive it. They won’t see the sense it in. Such relationships often lead to arguments, seeking who is right and who is wrong. No discussion takes place at a field of blame games.

There is no need shrinking yourself for someone else’s comfort. You don’t have to become small for people who refuse to grow. You don’t have to kill yourself for the dead. There is no sense in that, no matter your love for them.

You don’t have to be in a relationship that makes you feel less, looked down upon or insecure. Every person is important and is created for their unique purpose. Just as the razor blade is sharp but cannot cut a tree, the same way the axe is strong but is not used to shave the hair. You don’t have to abandon your purpose to fit in someone else’s life.

Every man or woman have their perfect mate or helper. People who see things from their view, support and are ready to work with them. Our trouble is impatience. We find it difficult to learn how to wait for what is right for us. There is always the right time for right partners to meet.

In conclusion, “Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God chooses” – Ecclesiastes 3:1 (GNT).

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